So, the biggest news I have is that I'm moving to China in a few months for work!!! It'll be a big change, but I'm excited about it. Currently making a start on learning Mandarin, which means I've been spending most of my time on pinyin tone drills and less on writing. A little apprehensive about the potential impact moving to a country that restricts expression will have on my fic writing hobby, but anyway....

Life stuff and a few problems have meant I haven't managed to finish a piece of writing in MONTHS, which has kind of bummed me out. Have been reading a lot more though, which has to be a good thing. Right now I'm reading Wild Swans by Jung Chang, which is every bit as sweeping and expansive as I expected it to be. I'm learning a lot about Chinese history, and hope to read more books about China soon.

TV-wise, I spent a solid month binge-watching NBC's Hannibal, which was every bit as delightful and over the top as I expected. Predictably, I fell completely in love with Hannibal and Will (and omg, Bedelia <3). Have a few quibbles about some of the weekly plots and the way the female characters were developed, but overall, I adored it, it was perfect and Hannigram is the fucked-up, beautiful pairing of my dreams.

Also just got into Silk, a BBC series about barristers that came out a few years ago. It's surprisingly engrossing, Maxine Peake is a joy and it also stars Natalie Dormer, who I am always in love with, whatever she's in. Maybe I will fic for it, but possibly not.

The past few months I've really been struggling with writing, and I've started/tried to continue so many projects I've been unable to complete. Why is it I can only write fic when I'm on deadline to do something else? Have a ton of planning for school to do, and instead I've dusted off the Serena/Carter sequel thing that's been forever languishing in my drafts. London is sunny and bright today, if windy, and maybe I'll even finish something. Here's hoping.
Tags:
I haven't posted here for a while. Writing is grindingly slow at the minute, but I knocked out a quick fic recently, and thought I might as well link it here.

yasgorl sent me 'No Children' by The Mountain Goats as a prompt, and it messed me up. As much as I love Steve and Bucky being deliriously happy, the idea of their relationship becoming too claustrophobic to be healthy always fascinates me. This fic was me taking it to that terrible conclusion. So, here's the post-CACW fic where they don't talk about their feelings, and in the end, it destroys them:

hang on past the last exit (AO3)
Captain America, Steve/Bucky, M, 1446 words (Angst, Break Up, Road Trips)

He hadn't thought Steve would be there waiting for him when he got out.

It might have taken years to fix him. It should have.


Feedback adored.

[I'm sorry. Remind me why I did this. I LOVE THEM AND JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY. AAAGH. Look, just  pretend this has a happy ending in the future -- I did.]
I finally got around to writing the first of my fills for [community profile] trope_bingo. When I saw 'sex pollen' on my bingo card, I immediately wanted to write it, but nothing really inspired me until I spotted the prompt 'a story set during a war' on the [community profile] mcuflashmeme.

So I went for WWII sex pollen -- most Steve/Bucky stories I've read with that trope are post-TWS, so it was fun to write it in the 1940s era. Essentially, it's just very sad porn; they investigate an abandoned HYDRA base, get exposed to a chemical agent, sex happens. Pining abounds.

A note: It's TFA-era, so not happy-ending territory.

inside me like my pulse (AO3)
Captain America, Steve/Bucky, M, 3108 words (Sex Pollen, WWII, Pining, Consent Issues, as in they both consent but aren't entirely in their right minds)

"Human trials of aerosolised aphrodisiacs," Steve reads, his voice stuttering on the last word.

Bucky frowns. "Did you just say --"

Steve can feel his face turning pink. "I'm not saying it again, Buck. You heard."


Feedback loved.
Obviously, after the Civil War superbowl trailer came out, I had FEELINGS.

I had some ideas for a Steve/Bucky five times fic (because I'm a huge fan of that trope), about them thinking they're being secretive when they aren't. It ended up being written in outsiderPOV, in 5 multiple POVs, which was an interesting challenge in keeping all the five voices distinct.

take this to your grave (AO3)
Captain America, Steve/Bucky, T, 3173 words (Outsider POV, hints of period-typical homophobia)

Five times they weren't as secretive as they thought.

(Steve and Bucky through the eyes of others.)

Feedback adored.
Have been slow at updating this, but anyway, here's a fic:

I rewatched a few episodes of Gossip Girl (haven't seen it much since the great obsession of 2011 when I binge-watched the lot) and had a ridiculous amount of feelings about Serena and Carter.

They're just so beautiful and painful together, the always-a-step-between couple who can never quite seem to be on the same page with each other. That said, I think they had great chemistry, and Carter understood Serena in a way I don't think any of the others did. I wanted to explore the idea of Serena somehow coming back to Carter, post-series, and so I wrote this:

it's a pretty good song (baby you know the rest) (AO3)
Gossip Girl, Carter/Serena, T, 2974 words

The thing is: Carter Baizen is an explosion of a boy, and Serena's never had the good sense to avoid things that sparked and flamed.

Feedback loved!

London is dull and rainy today, & I have a fever. Boo hiss.

However, I just signed up for [community profile] trope_bingo, so I'm hoping that'll kick-start my writing fire a little bit. I might even go multi-fandom for it; I've been in such a Steve/Bucky headspace lately I haven't really written much else.

My bingo card:


TALL TALEWANTED

POSTER
POKER/

STRIP POKER
LOSS OF

INNOCENCE
TRANSFORMATIONS
CHARACTER

IN DISTRESS
SEX POLLENUNREQUITED

LOVE/PINING
BODY SWAPSPANKING
FAKE

RELATIONSHIP
MIND CONTROLFREE SPACESELFIEFOOD PORN
AMNESIAMARRIAGEHANDCUFFSAPHRODISIACSHUDDLE FOR WARMTH
HAPPY ENDINGMATCHMAKERALTERED STATES

(OF THE MIND)
HANDCUFFED/

BOUND TOGETHER
PERSPECTIVE FLIP


Some pretty interesting ones! I'm gonna aim for a five-square fill. I also convinced the wonderful [personal profile] evieeden to sign up alongside me *rubs hands together with evil laugh* so I'm sure she'll be witness to all my complaining and whining about how I can't write a fill.

 Finally got round to watching the last couple of episodes of Jessica Jones. Confession: I sometimes have to watch it with my hands over my eyes.

all the badass ladies )

I really want to write something, but I'm not sure what. I keep glancing over at the prompts on the [community profile] mcuflashmeme and they look good. I really should do it one of these days, but I'm just  a little frozen at the minute. Writing is such a damn hard hobby sometimes (having said that, I seem to be managing to publish something at least once a fortnight, so things can't be all that bad). It's just always the feeling that you may never write again, until the idea pops into your head. I can force myself to write, but what comes out is never decent enough quality for me to be happy with it; and yeah, I can edit, but I need to feel like it's at least something workable.

Doesn't help that my job is exhausting and busy, but that's life. Teaching can be pretty great, too, and I know it's a privilege. So yeah: must write more. I need to do more prompts or something. And work on my Stucky Big Bang 2016 idea which I still don't have.

Side note: I read 'And Tango Makes Three' to my teeny class today (if you don't know it, it's a book about the gay penguins in Central Park zoo who raised an egg together and omg, it's SO CUTE). There was talk about the penguin Dads being both boys, but then they just sort of accepted it. Yeah, 4 year olds are more open minded than most adults. Makes you wonder about what stuff society shoves into children's heads to make them forget all that stuff and just accept the crushing heternormativity of society.
I hadn't got round to posting this. Because I couldn't resist another 5 + 1 things fic...

Essentially a series of excuses to get Steve and Bucky together via hot weather. The closest thing I've written to fluff in a while, and as always, I entirely blame my fandom Girl Friday  evieeden for this schmoop. Read here or on AO3 with below link:

august and her sons (AO3)
Captain America, Steve/Bucky, M, 7781 words)
Five times hot weather brought Steve and Bucky together (+1 time they didn't need the weather).

If anyone does happen to read this on here, feedback is adored <3.
After the loss of David Bowie earlier in the week, I was shocked and heartbroken to hear of Alan Rickman's death. The world has lost some great talent, but at least we have their work to console ourselves with (I feel a Die Hard rewatch in my near future).

I rewatched The Amazing Spider-Man for the first time since it came out. Have to say, it stands up pretty well.

long wordy thoughts )

Yesterday, I got the loveliest feedback on my Yuletide story. It was one of those comments that's incredibly detailed about all the aspects the reader loved; those are just the best. It's been getting quite a few comments relative to hits, so I'm pleased with how it turned out. Susan and Millie had such a fascinating relationship in the show, and I loved exploring the idea that there was a little more to their past than friendship. Code-breaking ladies ftw.

found a calling as sweet as a lover  (AO3)
The Bletchley Circle, Susan/Millie, M, 4896 words
History will not tell their story.

This week was a bit of a headache at work, but thankfully there's time to do writing. I've been feeling ever-so-slightly about my own style recently, but I'm trying to ignore it and just get the words out. A Steve/Bucky 5 +1 fic is brewing in my future I think (because I haven't written one in a while, and that trope is always kind of fun). I'd better get to it and stop pouring needless words into this journal.

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